Retorts

New Age Degrees

All of us who value rationality in our education system are indebted to Neville Blampied for his efforts in relation to the proposed degree in Naturopathy at Aoraki Polytechnic, and we wish him every success should he choose to study for any of the interesting and challenging Bachelor's courses he mentions in his letter [Dec/Jan].

If successful in surmounting these hurdles, he may wish to go on to post-graduate study, and I recommend the following:

• Master of Tarotology (M.T.). The abbreviated title nicely summarizes the intellectual content of this course.
• The post-graduate Diploma in Pyromancy (Dip.Py.). In these straitened times we are forced to request students to provide their own fires.
• Magister Levitationis (Mag. Lev.). A degree particularly suited to cyclophobes who want a smooth, fast ride.
• Master of Evolutionary Creationism (M.E.C.)
• I strongly urge Mr Blampied to strive for a higher doctorate, such as Doctor of Divination (D. Div.). For the same reason as given under Dip. Py. above, this course is recommended only to those who have access to a plentiful supply of chickens.

See you at graduation, Neville!

Bernard Howard, Christchurch