Black Hole

March 3, 1993
Fisher Lab-equip Ltd
197 Wild Drive, ChCh

Dear Jack

Working late tonight and catching up on some paper-work. We need two (2) sixty (60) millimetre lengths of plastic tube, 5 mm ID. Send best way for you, no hurry at this end. Charge to our account on order number D3456/1.

Tim,
Bio-blast Laboratories Ltd
123 Westwind Road, ChCh
May 4, 1992
Bio-blood Laboratories
123 Westside Terrace
Christchurch

Your order: D3456/1
Our order: AWQ-778a-9987-002(b)

Dear client

Your order ref above for 2600 metres of 5-metre ID plastic tube completed by vendor and being shipped via Railfreight in 12 open wagons.

Loading Note: RF/AKL/45673-9857

Fisher Lab-equip Ltd

May 5, 1993
Fisher Lab-equip Ltd
197 Wild Drive, ChCh

Dear Jack

What the hell does the attached mean??? I ordered two little 60 mil lengths of 5 mil ID tubing and that crazy machine of yours is sending us 12 wagon-loads of what would have to be plastic SEWER pipe!

And this ISN'T "Bio-blood Laboratories" either, smartie!

Tim.

P.S. When do we get the tubing?
June 1, 1993
Bio-bleed Lobotomies Ltd
123a West Heights Ave.
Christchurch

Ref: Your order: D-3456/1
Our order: AWQ-778a-9987-002(b)
Loading Note:
RF/AKL/45673-9857

Dear Debtor account

Carrier has notified us that 12 wagon shipment ref. above has not been collected as specified by our firm's standard terms of trade.

Two hundred ($200.00) dollars per day (+ GST) demurrage charges are now being added to your account which has now exceeded your credit limit.

We also wish to draw to your attention that the sum outstanding on this order ($178,231.62) is now overdue for payment.

Fisher Lab-equip Ltd

June 4, 1993
Fisher Lab-equip Ltd
Karangahape Road
Auckland
Attn: Manager, Sales

Hey dummies!

I don't know who you are and I care even less, but I am supposed to write to you about this stuff-up.

I didn't order any damn pipe, have no use for it and am NOT going to pay for it!

Get it sorted out and send me the little tubes I originally ordered! ASAP!

Tim Friedrichstein
Bio-blast Laboratories Ltd
123 Westwind Road
Christchurch
June 10, 1992

Bio-bleed Lobotomies Ltd
123 West Ocean View
Christchurch

Your ref: D-3456/1
Our ref: AWQ-778a-9987-002(b)
Loading Note:
RF/AKL/45673-9857
Solicitor No:
92/FISH/BBL-001
Delinquent: 92/849

Dear Slow Payer/Defendant

Since we have not received due payment from you, our solicitors have been instructed to institute recovery proceedings for all monies owing on your account.

Your continued failure to pay for goods/services/materials/labour has left this firm with no alternative but to seek an early hearing date in the High Court.

Fisher Lab-equip Ltd

June 20, 1993
Managing Director
Fisher Lab-equip Ltd
Karangahape Road
Auckland

My Dear Sir

Re: Your most recent threat.

Thank you for your letter of the 10th. I am more than happy to accept receipt of any Court documents you or your solicitors wish to serve upon my firm.

However, I would like to assure you that my door is not closed to you, should you wish to settle this matter out of Court and to that end, I have sent you a message to that effect tied to a mating pair of plague-infected rats, released in your building earlier this morning. These rats have each been fitted with a device enabling me to tranquilise them the moment I hear from you that all this stupidity has ended.

I look forward to your prompt reply, together with the goods ordered on March 3, 1993.

Tim Friedrichstein
Bio-blast Laboratories Ltd
123 Westwind Road, ChCh

>July 12th, Westwind Road, Christchurch. It is 2:30am and a hush hangs over the large crowd gathered around the fiercely burning main building.

An angry cry is heard from the raging inferno -- "Send the flamin' computer in! Let's see if it can shoot as well as it writes letters!!" Nude mice scurry out of the flames.

From the shelter of an overturned troop-carrier, the Army replies by lobbing another mortar bomb into the conflagration. And so it goes on through the night...

At 11:15 the next morning, a Posthaste courier van halts outside the Police cordon tape and the driver jumps down holding a small cardboard box. Making his way toward the smoking embers of Bio-blast's lab, he pauses at the gate and hands over the contents of the box -- two small plastic tubes. A police constable signs the delivery docket and in subdued tones, thanks the driver.

Tim Friedrichstein is serving twenty years for treason. The computer is now Minister of Police. This is a Good Thing.